(Trigger Warning – Disordered Eating)

“It’s a lifestyle, not a diet”

I have struggled with my weight and body issues my whole life. I was the queen of disordered eating, yo-yo dieting, and body dysmorphia. Around the age of 13, I developed my first eating disorder. I was skinny but always felt very fat. I started starving myself and engaging in binge-and-purge cycles. Slowly, I went from being an energetic, positive, and happy teen to a disturbed and desperate person. I lost all self-confidence and couldn’t find my way out of my mental agony. Everything I ate made me worry about gaining weight. I would starve myself for as long as possible and then binge eat and throw up. I did this with alcohol as well, which became my only escape from my mismanaged mental health and eating issues.

On weekends and some weeknights, I would drink excessively and then purge by the end of the night, unable to handle the excess calories consumed during a night of partying. I hated myself. I just wanted a new life, body, and escape that would last forever. But this was impossible. I had to learn to love and respect myself, which felt unattainable. Everything I did revolved around getting skinny, even though I had a naturally muscular build. I would stand in front of the mirror and criticize myself, pinching every inch and wishing I could burn it all away.

I was so mentally unstable and paranoid that I clung to any new health fad, pretending I was in control. In reality, I was far from it. During my early 20s, I would gain and lose weight dramatically—lose 30 pounds, then gain 40. I would go all out on manic fitness, starvation, and diet supplements, only to crash into depression and consume vast amounts of artificial sugar and poisonous processed foods. In my second year of college, a friend pulled me aside and said, “Leeanna, this extreme weight loss and weight gain cycle is really bad for your health. You need to be careful.” Her words hit like a ton of bricks – That was the first time I felt sympathy for myself. I thought what I was doing was harmless, but it was deadly. Every time I starved myself and threw up, I was hurting both my brain and body. I wasn’t giving it the proper nutrients, which made my mental health a disaster. The further my sickness progressed, the darker my life became.

The first dose of self-kindness I experienced was when I started attending a yoga class through my college at the age of 20. Everyone was calm and positive; I had never experienced that before. The instructor was so sweet and nurturing that I began to trust what she said. Each week, I showed up and gained more respect for myself. After about six months, I stopped sticking my finger down my throat. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to hurt myself. Although I still struggled with binge drinking, mood swings, and too much medication, something had changed. I was ready to shed my addictions and evaluate what I was putting into my body every day, learning how to exercise for health rather than punishment.

Three years ago, I almost died from my extreme lifestyle. I hit my head, became concussed, and lost my mind. I was so angry and messed up from stimulants that I knew I had to change, or I would not survive. So, slowly, I began doing just that. The first step was establishing a healthy routine and sleep schedule. I realized that sleep was the most critical factor for my mental and physical health. I began to prioritize taking my nightly antipsychotic medication, going to sleep at the same time every night, and trying to wake up at the same time each morning. This routine was a game changer for me.

In addition to improving my sleep, I needed to completely cut out alcohol if I wanted a shot at stability. I enjoyed my party days, but it was time to retire from that lifestyle. Eliminating alcohol made it significantly easier to manage my weight. I no longer consumed empty calories, ate junk food, or disrupted my sleep. Along with sobriety came a heightened sense of awareness, which drove me a little crazy. I realized I had a night-eating problem; I used to get a rush from waking up in the middle of the night and mindlessly consuming calories. I didn’t know how to break this habit—until I discovered intermittent fasting.

Fasting has completely transformed my life. For the first time, I could quickly lose weight and maintain it. I became obsessed with Dr. Mindy Pelz, watched every video I could find, and even read her book, “Fast Like a Girl.” She was a gift from God. I started with a 12-hour eating window in which I would eat from 8 AM to 8 PM and gradually moved to an 8-hour window. I wake up, have my morning beverages, and end my fast around noon, eating only from 12 PM to 8 PM. The weight melted off as I eliminated evening snacking, and I experienced my best sleep ever.

When I first began fasting, I would have zero calories until noon. Now that I’ve reached my goal weight and am in the maintenance stage, I only consume liquids with calories until around 1 or 2 PM and then have my first solid meal. Giving your body a break from digesting solids by consuming only liquids benefits your digestive system. I wake up and drink spring water with pink Himalayan salt, have a glass of super greens with lemon, and then enjoy a tea brewed with coconut oil, almond milk, and maple syrup. The fat from the coconut oil provides my brain with the necessary fuel it needs, while the maple syrup supplies the calories I need to liquid fast until 1 or 2 PM. I personally opt for a Paleo Mediterranean Diet and have eliminated most dairy, gluten and artificial sugars.

The beautiful thing about time-restricted eating, or intermittent fasting, is that you can eat whatever you want during your 8-hour window. Obviously you will feel better and achieve more admirable results if you focus on healthy eating, but the most important thing is cutting off your calorie intake at a particular time each night. This can be challenging if you are a drinker or a marijuana smoker with the munchies, so consider fasting every other day or a couple times a week to start. When you first begin fasting, you will feel hungry, which is good. I used to eat because it was lunchtime, but now I eat because I am hungry. Whenever I have hunger pain, I picture the fat burning off my body. I love it. I feel the best when my body enters ketosis and burns fat instead of carbs. Fasting is a miracle, but find what works for you.

Anyone with a history of disordered eating needs to be cautious with fasting. When I first started, I took it too far, losing too much weight too quickly, which made me feel weak and irritable. Fasting should make you feel good, not bad. Doing it correctly makes me feel strong, motivated, and euphoric. I feel cranky, tired, and prone to injury when I do it incorrectly. Always consult your doctor before significantly changing your diet, exercise, and supplement routine. Safety is number one. I also started weighing myself every Friday morning, just once a week, to ensure I wasn’t losing too much weight or gaining. Since I have a history of dramatic weight loss and gain, weighing myself once a week helps keep me in check.

Now, it’s time for science: how does the body actually lose weight or fat? There are a couple different ways. A few years ago, I was surprised to learn that we lose weight through exhalation. Yes, it’s true—fat is released when we breathe out. The more we breathe, the more we release. Exercise is a great way to breathe more, get your heart rate up, and improve your health, but if you dislike working out, try meditation instead. I practice mindfulness meditation on YouTube and engage in deep breathing exercises or breathwork.

During my first month-long meditation challenge, I lost 10 pounds. My friends were curious about my secret, and I told them it was simply about breathing. The weight melted away. Breathe more, lose more, and feel better. Another way we lose weight is through urination and sweat. Sitting in a sauna can help you sweat it out if you aren’t inclined to work out. It can even improve depression, and help prevent heart disease and Alzheimers. Just drink plenty of water and electrolytes to stay hydrated and help flush things out. You can do this!

Sleep is my number one priority today, and sleep hygiene starts in the morning. Many of us enjoy caffeinated beverages throughout the day, but I learned that coffee has a half-life of 6 to 9 hours, meaning you should consume your last caffeine 6 to 9 hours before bed to avoid disrupting your sleep. Another critical factor is getting enough movement during the day. Many of us sit for extended periods in front of a computer, eat a high-sugar, high-carb diet, and don’t expend much energy, making us less tired at night. Even a bit of exercise daily, whether walking, stretching or dancing, can help improve sleep quality. Additionally, try to eat your last meal three hours before bedtime; you’ll be amazed at how much better your sleep quality is when your body isn’t busy digesting food at night.

When I hit the pillow, my mind often races. I have a busy brain, so I play a guided body scan or yoga nidra every night to help me fall asleep. This has changed my life. I also play a yoga nidra video on YouTube each morning upon waking. One hour of yoga nidra is equivalent to four hours of quality sleep; give it a shot.

Next, let’s discuss hydration. Are you getting enough electrolytes? Two years ago, I started adding daily electrolytes to my routine, dramatically improving my quality of life. I use pink Himalayan sea salt, Nuun tablets, coconut water, and micro ingredients electrolyte powder. If you opt for high-chemical electrolyte drinks like Gatorade or Powerade, choose the white one with fewer artificial ingredients. Electrolytes boost my energy, improve my health, reduce inflammation, enhance my mental well-being, lessen anxiety, support weight loss, and help me rehydrate after drinking tea and coffee. If there’s one thing you take away from this, make it hydration; it can change your life. Invest in a nice water bottle or drinking cup with a straw, and get serious about your hydration.

Now, regarding my diet—I’ve been a sugar addict for most of my life, and breaking these bad habits was incredibly challenging. I began drinking a gallon of water a day with electrolytes and adopted a high-protein diet, which helped reduce my sugar cravings. I also take magnesium before bed to curb my desire for sugar. I realized that if I didn’t consume any sugar, I wouldn’t crave it. However, once I gave in and had a sweet treat, my sugar cravings skyrocketed. Now, I do my best to avoid artificial sugars.

Sugar alternatives can also be problematic. For instance, consuming things like Stevia and Splenda can trigger sugar cravings because the body releases insulin, expecting sugar to follow. As a result, I’ve stopped using sugar alternatives entirely and avoid sweets as much as possible. When I crave something sweet, I make it a point to eat something healthy first—I never have sugar on an empty stomach. Eating sugar when hungry can cause glucose spikes, which can lead to anxiety. No, thank you. The only sweetener I use in my beverages is pure maple syrup, which I find the healthiest choice, and it doesn’t cause sugar cravings for me.

In the past, when I struggled with my diet and was unsure of what to eat or drink, I focused on eating whole foods—those without nutrition/warning labels. I filled my shopping cart with fresh fruits and vegetables, grass-fed beef, and wild-caught salmon. I also bought frozen fruits and vegetables, coconut oil, avocados, and bone broth. I established a rule for myself: I must respect my body and brain and treat myself with care as if I was a small child in need of nurturing. Each morning, I start my day with healthy beverages and nutritious foods. Eating healthy feels good, and when you provide your body and brain with what they need, your life can change miraculously.

For years, I struggled to accept my body and didn’t treat it right. So, instead of focusing on my body, I prioritize my brain health. I began watching videos, reading books, and listening to podcasts about maintaining a healthy brain. If you’re struggling with your body image, I recommend focusing on your brain health instead. One of my favorite thought leaders in this area is Dr. Daniel Amen; his content has been beyond beneficial for me. His book, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” is an excellent resource.

Several factors can negatively impact brain health and even shrink the brain, including alcohol, stress, marijuana, sugar, smoking, vaping, excessive screen time, obesity, a sedentary lifestyle, head trauma, inflammation, negativity, toxins, and insufficient sleep. On the other hand, things that promote brain health include regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, a brain-healthy diet rich in healthy fats, managing stress and anxiety, staying mentally active through puzzles, reading paperbacks, word searches, learning new languages, and playing musical instruments. Additionally, supplements like Vitamin D, fish oil, and antioxidants can be beneficial.

How healthy is your brain?

Next up is everyone’s favorite topic: exercise. My biggest tip is to choose activities that you genuinely enjoy. If you dislike running or going to the gym, fuck that shit —find something else that makes you happy. Find what works for you, whether it’s yoga, dancing, HIIT workouts, or weightlifting. Walking, for instance, is one of the best things you can do for your overall health. After I eat, I always try to take a brisk walk, even if it’s just around the block. I call it “walking off my belly.” I feel much better when I move. When I’m inactive, I often feel depressed; being in motion lifts my spirits, both physically and mentally. But always remember, diet is number one. You cannot exercise your way out of a bad diet.

It’s essential to monitor what you put into your body including drugs and alcohol. If you’ve tried to lose weight countless times, like I have, start paying attention to your intake. Avoid drinking your calories; a single glass of alcohol can contain over 100 calories, and it adds up quickly. Switching from soda to natural sparkling water can significantly benefit your waistline. Be wary of products labeled “diet,” “low sugar,” or “low fat,” as they often contain harmful chemicals that lead to unhealthy food cravings. Also, be mindful of what you eat when you smoke weed and experience the munchies, and the things you indulge in when you are drinking or hung over. My golden rule is: if you don’t buy it, you won’t eat it. The items you bring into your home will determine what you consume.

Consistency is key. If you can maintain a healthy routine five days a week and then fuck around on the weekend, you’re essentially practicing the 80/20 rule, which I try to follow. Focus on doing your best 80% of the time while allowing yourself some fun in the remaining 20%. It works. Remember, it’s not about what you do some of the time; it’s about what you do all of the time. Also, try not to be hard on yourself. Contrary to popular belief, you can make positive changes by being kind to yourself; you don’t have to be harsh to see results. Since I began to love and respect myself, I find it easier to go with the flow of life. At 35 years old, for the first time, I feel calm, satisfied, and at peace with myself and my life. You can experience this, too.

Another critical factor is self-confidence. My biggest confidence tip is to do what you say you are going to do. It’s simple. I create a plan for myself every week, set a few goals, and follow through. Whether it involves working out three times a week, reading 10 pages a day, or fasting four days a week, sticking to my commitments has made me feel more sure of myself and even more confident. If you are struggling and need additional resources like talk therapy or a support group, I highly encourage it. I use both of these things and they have made my life better.

In the past, I judged overweight individuals because I was concerned about my own weight. That perspective has changed; I now find all bodies beautiful. Everyone has the right to live as they wish. If someone decides they are unhappy and wants to make changes, I’m here to show that it’s possible and to provide hope and strategies that have worked for me. Aim to feel good as much as you can. Your only enemy is your excuses.

Are You Willing To Change?