“My late father’s favorite F-word was free.”

Have you ever tallied up how much you spend on cosmetics, self-care services, mindless shopping, and trendy social media products? Think about the costs of makeup, skincare creams, nail care, shaving supplies, hair coloring and cutting, new fast-fashion outfits, amazon packages, party supplies, premium apps, fast food, cosmetic procedures, alcoholic beverages, food delivery, vapes, streaming services, and recreational substances.

A few years ago, I was incredibly high-maintenance. I shopped excessively every week and spent around $300 on fancy haircuts and colors. I tanned, bleached my teeth, went on luxury trips, partied like a rock star, and dined out several times a week. I waxed, shaved, and plucked excessively, wore a lot of makeup, and bought quick-fix trendy items. I spent thousands on unnecessary things, believing I needed them because of the societal conditioning I had received throughout my life. The more I altered my natural appearance, the more insecure and in debt I became.

My spending extended to fancy lingerie, weight loss products, alcohol, anxiety remedies, fitness classes, subscription services, fast food, new books, fancy coffee, brand-new furniture, flavored beverages, partying, sponsored races, nicotine and tobacco products, energy drinks, concerts, and convenience services like DoorDash.

Eventually, I found myself broke, sick, and homeless. I couch-surfed for a while until I wore out my welcome with everyone I knew. If I couldn’t find a one-night stand on a dating app, I had to sleep outside or in my car, assuming I even had one at that time. Those years were the hardest of my life. I discovered that rock bottom had a basement, and I stayed down there far too long.

Capitalism exploits insecurities by promoting products and ideals that reinforce unrealistic beauty standards, creating a sense of inadequacy. This leads to a cycle of consumption as people strive to address these manufactured insecurities, ultimately benefiting corporations.

In addition to promoting unrealistic beauty standards, these tactics manipulate emotions to sell products as solutions, creating a financial burden on consumers. Once I recognized this, I became angry and acknowledged that I had been a robot for most of my life, believing that a product could fix my imaginary flaws. I went broke too many times and decided I needed to change my habits.

I started asking myself why I was doing all these things. Was it for me or for society? Was I striving for other people’s approval or my own? I began to disconnect and realized that our culture primarily wants to sell products and make us feel insecure. The more confident I became, the more I realized I didn’t need all that nonsense. Slowly, I transitioned from being high-maintenance to low-maintenance, and my life completely transformed.

I quit dying my hair five years ago and embraced my natural color; it has never been healthier. I stopped wearing fancy bras and panties seven years ago and now wear sports bras and cotton shorts or pants instead. I quit painting my nails six years ago and stopped wearing makeup four years ago. I don’t even use tinted moisturizer; I simply wear sunscreen and reapply it multiple times a day. Makeup ruined my skin and made me look years older than I was.

Now I have a great skincare routine, and my skin has never looked better. I realized that the best anti-aging protocol is not fancy creams; it is wearing sunscreen, getting good sleep, avoiding alcohol, managing stress and anxiety, eating a whole-food healthy diet, regular exercise, and hydrating with high-quality water and electrolytes.

I stopped shaving regularly three years ago and embraced my natural body hair. I haven’t shaved in the past few months, and I’ve never felt better. I feel confident in my own skin. Additionally, I believe shaving is unhealthy since our bodies are meant to have hair, which serves many natural purposes.

I hated shaving; it stole hours from me each week, and when I did shave, I experienced terrible razor burn, which discouraged me from doing it in the first place. My partner loves me being all-natural, and so do I. The only people who have had a problem or made rude comments about my transition have been highly insecure and unhappy with themselves. It’s my body and my life, so I make the rules for me.

I’ve come to realize that society invented these standards to sell products. They tell you to cover and contour your face to sell makeup; they instruct you to shave to sell razors and fancy shaving products; and they insist you dye your grays or get highlights, forcing you to use harsh chemicals on your hair. They constantly tell you that you are too fat, too thin, too hairy, too wrinkled, too lazy, have too much cellulite, are too anxious, too plain, too loud, too saggy, too messy— it never ends.

I have fully embraced minimalism in every aspect of my life. I’ve significantly reduced my use of cosmetics and improved my investment strategies and purchasing habits. I paid for my reliable Toyota Corolla in cash, use a $150 cellphone, and a $200 computer, and I don’t plan on changing that. I make it a point to pay off my credit card every week to remain debt-free and avoid interest payments. One of the most helpful practices I have adopted is reviewing all my credit card statements on the fifth of each month. During this review, I add up my expenses to see if I’ve stuck to my budget.

To save money, I use an app called Oportun, which automatically pulls small amounts from my checking account to help me reach my various savings goals. This has been the easiest way to save that I’ve found so far. I maintain an emergency fund and a separate account for taxes since I work as a 1099 contractor. Additionally, I save for car repairs, vacations, a new electric car, and my dream of owning a small farm and home.

I’m not perfect, and I never will be. I just realized that if I want my life to change, I need to make significant changes. I still get a thrill from overspending, but the more I spend, the less I save, and the more I have to work – I prefer spending less and having time to enjoy my hobbies.

My late father’s favorite word F word was “free,” and I’m striving to embrace that mindset. For most of my life, I was a huge spender and often found myself broke. My financial struggles were fueled by habits like drinking alcohol, chasing after quick-fix trends, smoking weed, dining out, buying beauty products, online shopping, and living unconsciously. I don’t want to live that way anymore, and I never want to be broke again.

During my financially difficult years, I learned to be resourceful out of necessity. I found creative ways to manage when I had little money—I learned to cut my own hair, shop at thrift stores, and prepare easy meals at home. Those years had their highs and lows; I alternated between being broke and dating wealthy partners who would buy me cars, clothes, pets, trips, and jewelry. I would spend their money and break up when I grew bored or frustrated. After my dad passed away, I inherited some money, which I squandered on travel, edibles, and other non-essential items. I consistently lost everything I had acquired because I hadn’t earned it myself; I was a child in an adult’s body.

The core issue was my habits that kept me broke. No matter how much money I received, I wasted it all. I acted like a trust fund kid without a trust fund, having been spoiled as a child by my grandfather and uncle and using men for financial support. I lacked money management skills and struggled to hold a 9-to-5 job.

Everything changed for me when I began doing gig work. For the first time, I could work whenever I wanted, for as long or as little as I desired. I started with Uber and Lyft and did that for over four years, giving thousands of rides and genuinely enjoying it. Initially, it was tough because I was 60 pounds overweight, depressed, and struggling with alcohol and weed addiction. I lacked the motivation to go to my job and had a poor work ethic. I would drive around Denver, crying to my passengers and feeling like a total loser.

Then I would hit manic episodes and feel confident and on top of the world. I would talk non-stop to my passengers, attend parties with them, go on dates, and even hook up with some. For ten years, I often stopped taking my mood-stabilizing bipolar medication and ended up feeling like a mess. Now, I take my medication every night and have no intention of stopping; being stable feels like going from hell to heaven on earth.

Eventually, I burned out from being a taxi driver, so I switched to product delivery services. I’ve been doing this for three years, and I absolutely love the money and flexibility it provides. Delivering products is much easier; they don’t complain, cry, vomit, or cause scenes like people do. Additionally, staying sober is much easier when I’m not surrounded by partygoers all day and night.

Overall, being an unconscious spender kept me in debt and insecure. I am now ready to live a low-consumption lifestyle and invest as much as possible.

**What I spend my money on now:**
– A high-end mattress
– Comfortable Hoka footwear
– Whole organic foods
– High-quality water
– Investments such as Roth IRAs and Brokerage Accounts
– High-end cat food, litter, snacks, water, and pet insurance
– Grammarly for editing my writing projects
– YouTube Premium to avoid ads and access YouTube Music
– High-quality athletic wear that I use every day
– A nice juicer and blender
– Non-toxic sunscreen
– A red light therapy mask
– Used books
– A gym membership
– An IUD to avoid periods
– A reliable Toyota Corolla
– Essential oils for fragrance
– Natural moisturizer and cleanser
– Differin gel, toner, hyaluronic acid serum
– Organic shampoo and conditioner
– Natural plain electrolyte powder
– Water filters
– A digital to-do list
– Organic fruits and vegetables to juice weekly
– An Oportun savings account
– An ice maker and ice
– Acupuncture
– Fun earrings (I have about 30 pairs that I rotate to wear daily to brighten my mood)
– Supplements
– A Garmin watch
– A paid website for my blog

**How I Save Money:**
– I make coffee at home using a French press, frother, and almond milk.
– I only use basic cleansers & moisturizers, such as Cetaphil & Differin gel.
– I dine out only two or three times a month.
– I don’t paint my nails or get professional manicures and pedicures.
– I buy coffee out only one or two times a week.
– All my streaming services are free through my T-Mobile account and my partner’s Cricket account (including Netflix, Apple TV, and HBO Max).
– I buy certain products in bulk from Costco, including eggs, frozen fruit, toilet paper, and even my tires.
– I shop at Trader Joe’s, which offers the cheapest prices for organic products.
– I use coupons for oil changes.
– I limit my online shopping and impulse purchases.
– I utilize the dollar store for specific products.
– I don’t use DoorDash, grocery delivery, or buy junk food or sugary drinks.

**Here Are the Top Traps That Kept Me Mentally, Physically, and Financially Sick, Along With What I Do Now Instead:**

1. **Alcohol, Weed, and Partying:**
   – This habit was one of the most significant factors keeping me sick and broke. I used to spend hundreds of dollars a month trying to escape reality, which only led to more problems. While I don’t believe everyone needs to be sober, especially when they are young and socializing, it’s wise to examine your bank account and habits if you’re broke, depressed, and anxious. Being clean and sober is free and beneficial for my health. I am more of a homebody now and no longer enjoy large concerts or events.

– Now, I focus on my healthy hobbies and expressing myself creatively. Addiction dimmed my creativity, and I’m so happy to have it back. I love writing, reading, journaling, running, practicing yoga, lifting weights, and making cards and floral arrangements. I also invest in used self-help books and work on bettering myself. I go for nature walks and play a lot with my kitty. I enjoy making fresh juice and eating nutritious meals. I practice daily meditation and attend free Buddhist recovery meetings.

2. **Mindless Online Spending:** 
I still struggle with impulsive shopping at times, but I’ve made significant improvements. In the past, I frequently went online to buy things I didn’t need, constantly updating my amazon cart and purchasing cheap fast fashion. 
– Now, I shop locally as much as possible and only online when absolutely necessary. I prefer buying used furniture, books, and some clothes instead of brand-new items.

3. **Junk Food, Eating Out, and Food Delivery:** 
– I used to buy lots of sugary snacks, eat out several times a week, and frequently get food delivered. I realized my high-sugar diet and substance abuse were major contributors to my anxiety, crippling depression, poor sleep and mood swings.
– Now, I make a weekly shopping list and visit Trader Joe’s and Costco, focusing on whole, natural foods like fish, meat, fruits, vegetables, complex carbohydrates, and fiber. I also frequent Mexican and Asian markets to add variety to my diet and discover new foods and products.

4. **Trendy Fitness Studios:** 
– In the past, I spent hundreds each month on trendy fitness classes like Hot Yoga, Spin, Barre, CrossFit, and Stretch Zone. I also spent large sums on sponsored half marathons and marathons. 
– Now, I have a gym membership at 24 Hour Fitness for $38 a month, which allows me to bring my partner with me on my buddy pass. This membership includes access to 15 different types of classes at no additional cost, as well as access to a sauna, steam room, and pool. I also run outside and organize my own solo races for free, and bike the trails all over Portland.

5. **Soft Drinks and Artificially Flavored Beverages:** 
– Six years ago, I would drink diet soda, energy drinks, and fancy coffees, which could add up to $100 a week and negatively affected my health and well-being.

– Now, I stick to plain electrolyte powder, spring water, pink salt, and coconut water for hydration. I also make super smoothies and fresh juice.

6. **Weight Loss, Anxiety, and Quick Fix Products:** 
– In my 20s, I would buy every weight-loss pill and supplement I could find. I would lose weight quickly, only to gain it back. I was trapped in a horrible cycle of yo-yo dieting and disordered eating. These products ruined my metabolism and filled my body with dangerous chemicals. 
– I no longer use trendy diet supplements. Instead, I practice intermittent fasting to manage my weight and take a multivitamin, magnesium, vitamin D3K2, fish oil, turmeric, and super greens powder. I follow a whole foods diet high in protein, fiber, and healthy fats.

7. **Fancy Cuts and Colors:** 
– I used to splurge on expensive haircuts and color treatments, spending hundreds on toxic highlights and trendy hairstyles. 
– Now, I go to a Vietnamese barber and spend $25 on a haircut twice a year. He does an excellent job and takes great care of my hair.

8. **Fancy Apps:** 
– I don’t pay for apps; I subscribe to YouTube Premium for everything. It’s where I watch documentaries, guided meditations, listen to music, and enjoy podcasts. YouTube is my favorite app of all time.

9. **Car Purchases:** 
– I used to buy new cars and lease brand-new vehicles, which kept me financially strained. 
– Now, I buy reliable used cars. Four years ago, I purchased my 2013 Toyota Corolla with 65,000 miles for $14,000 cash.

10. **Birth Control:** 
– I used to use birth control pills and have a monthly period. 
– Now, I use a Mirena IUD, which is effective for 7 to 9 years. I am on my third one and haven’t had a period in 15 years. This choice saves me hundreds on sanitary products, and I also avoid the mood swings, acne, bloating, and cramps that come with having a cycle.

I can proudly say that I am no longer a slave to materialism, and my life has never been better. I don’t care what others think of me. I strive to treat people well, but their opinions do not define my worth. This transformation has allowed me to live a healthier, happier life while being financially responsible.

If I had one question for you, it would be: Who are you doing this for? 

Yourself or Society? 

This is your life, and you only get one chance at it – So make your own rules. If someone talks negatively about you or your lifestyle, it usually reflects their own insecurities. Express yourself, and don’t confine yourself to superficial beauty standards. You are better than that! 

Go for it. You only live once!