Bipolar Black Sheep

  • My 1st Healthy Relationship

    It’s June 2022, and I am in Portland, Oregon. I just completed a month-long volunteer program on an organic livestock farm and feel sad to leave. Being on the farm was one of the best experiences of my life, and I plan to remain friends with the farmers forever. That said, I have no idea…

  • Caffeine is a Drug

    Caffeine is the most widely used drug in the world and, for me, the most addictive substance I have ever consumed. Most of us drink some form of caffeine daily without questioning it. As our world becomes more anxious, I must examine my daily choices and how they affect my mood and well-being. I have…

  • Magical Microdosing

    (Trigger Warning – Psychedelic Use, Please do research and consult with professionals before you experiment with mushrooms/psilocybin. SAFETY FIRST) “One trip can change your whole life” For years, I was terrified of mushrooms. I loved getting fucked up, but the idea of tripping seemed like a nightmare to me. I had heard countless horror stories…

  • Fat to Fit

    (Trigger Warning – Disordered Eating) “It’s a lifestyle, not a diet” I have struggled with my weight and body issues my whole life. I was the queen of disordered eating, yo-yo dieting, and body dysmorphia. Around the age of 13, I developed my first eating disorder. I was skinny but always felt very fat. I…

  • The Anxiety Experiment

    (Trigger Warning – Substance Abuse and Suicidal Ideation) “My anxiety has anxiety” Originally Published January 29th 2025  Anxiety has been a significant part of my life since childhood; you could say it’s one of my closest companions. I often find myself trapped in a cycle of worrying and envisioning worst-case scenarios. I can lie in…

  • Retired Party Girl

    (Trigger Warning – Substance Abuse and Chaos) “It is easier to stay sober than to get sober” Originally Published January 8th 2025 I feel the chilly breeze tickling my warm skin as tiny raindrops fall on my head while I walk up a steep hill. Tears stream down my face as I kick acorns and…

  • Fuck! I’m Sober

    (Trigger Warning – Substance Abuse, Depression, and Sexual Fuckery) Originally Published April 5, 2023 “My least favorite place to be is in active addiction” It’s May 2003, and I’m 14 years old. My childhood best friend and I have decided that it’s our turn to get drunk for the very first time. We sneak into…

  • Waking Up

    (Trigger Warning – Mental Chaos, Disordered Eating, and Religious Exploration) Originally Published June 25, 2023 “Question Your Beliefs” It’s January 2015, and I am on a tour across the country to find myself. I’m 25 years old and freshly out of a toxic 3-year relationship. My boyfriend got secretly engaged and I am beyond crushed.…